服毒

今天覆診。我告訴醫生,我整體感覺還好,是否表示病情受控,不會殘廢?醫生答:“現在醫藥進步,可以延遲。”我驚問:“那豈非終會殘廢?”然後醫生說出那令人傷心的事實:“這病是治不好的啊。”

醫生又提起我拒絕了兩種藥物,不像有些病人那麽進取。我問:“治病也能進取?”醫生解釋,這病還有其他療法,有些相當昂貴,但有些病人因應其病情和需要,會採用較“進取”的治療和藥物。然後她又說出另一個教人傷心的事實:“但你吃的這種、還有那些其他的藥物都是有毒的啊。”

診症完畢,我到藥房領了一大包毒藥,然後回辦公室繼續工作。

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